HASH TRASH
Hash House Harriers Space Coast

H3SC Trash No. 67
"A Farewell to Shorty"
September 17th, 2005

Hosts: S-Wax, Slow Poker
Hares: Short Straw, Dr. Anus
Hounds: LMAU, HarryCheezeballs, Buckinghand Phallus, Dildo Stat, Be Small You Can Be, CrotchDuster,
Cockpit, GoldieLicks, Sniffa, Kittylingus, I Dream of Weeneeeeee, Moaner-Boner, Red-Hot, Hoosier Daddy,
Mullet, Pocket Rocket, IMM, MBF, Spermaid, Crusty Kreme, & Just Vanessa
Visitors: Majorbation, Too-Sexy-for-sex
Latecomers/Hash Poof-dahs: Poon Twang, Fish, Cheese-Spitter

And the call goes out: �Hear Ye, Hear Ye, calling all Hashing Colonists,
Our brother Hasher and favorite Mexican, Short Straw, is leaving the
colonies and returning to the home of our founding fathers, the cold
British Isles. This work assignment will take him away from our warm
little piece of paradise for at least half a decade!

We know Short Straw has touched many of you, and we thank you for not
suing, during the past few years. Please come out and show him off in
true Hasher style, let�s celebrate friends, life, and get piss drunk on cheap beer!�

Being the fabulous hosts (and obviously most na�ve) S-Wax and Slow Poker opened their house
and home to this motley crew of bedraggled souls for a hash/party. Given that there would be copious amounts
of beer, and a guaranteed short trail (after all, Shorty was laying this one live), in true hasher-fashion,
the hounds turned out en-masse to get piss drunk, and, oh yeah, say Good-Bye to Short Straw.

The hounds gathered and pre-lubed out by the pool until chalk talk. Included in the usual chalk marks
was a �B-J � check � Ooh Wee! More on that later�

A quick group-grope and then Hares out! And while the hares were out making a mess of Melbourne Beach,
the hounds went back inside to sign the going away present � an 8.5x11 of this group of Post-Office
Mug-Shot- candidates, and the H3SC logo all nicely matted and framed. (All together now, Awwwwww!).

Then it�s walkers out, toward Mango Drive, while the runners tried to shortcut the pack by going
the other way east on Andrews (sneaky non-conformists). Out to Magnolia where we find
our first which-way. About the time the runners found out that North was NOT the right way,
along comes the�what�s this?...bike hashers? LMAU and Dildo Stat were (girl)-scouting the
trail for the walkers � awww, geez, can you sink no lower? So, it�s South on Atlantic St.
and then we find trail going toward the East, through a neighborhood of these
Humungous houses (No Shorty, Northrop is not paying you THAT much!)
and on to the Avenue B beach access where we find the B-J check.

Just as Kitty is beginning to drool with rabid anticipation over the possibilities,
he is sorely disappointed to find it�s just Beer and Jello-shots.

To our great enjoyment there are signs that warn, �No alcoholic beverages on the walkway�.
Of course, this is all the invitation a hasher needs, and we find the crowd enjoying
the beach view and a beer.

Take a good look Short Straw, it�s going to be a right smart spell before you see it again!

After enjoying jello-shots and beer, the hares were off again. This time going south on the beach.
Shorty, goes up the public access at Avenue A, and Dr. Anus continues down the beach.
As we find out later Dr. A laid down a CB to CB that nobody followed (slackers).
Walkers out � oh wait, make that Bike-hashers out (to scout trail for the walkers � sheesh!),
Auto-hashers out (Good God People! This is a hash, not the geriatric tour!) Runners out.
Back up to A1A and Ocean Avenue, and then a Turkey-Eagle back to the start.
(Was it a surprise to anyone this was an A-2-A trail?)

Circle UP! Hares on Ice! New Rule of the Day � �When anyone drinks, Short Straw drinks�.
Nice going, Doc � ever heard of �When one hare drinks, ALL hares drink�? (dumbass)
This leads to �When one GM drinks, ALL GMs drink� � which pulls in Crotch Duster,
and now we have a tipsy trio of tanked twits.

FRB�s to the B-J stop � HarryCheezeBalls and Buckinghand Phallus (BHP); FRB end � Just Puke
(only because Shop Teacher wasn�t here�)

All the usual accusations, and the circle ended with Swing-Low Man-Style � May the Hash Go in Peace!
Recorridos Seguros Senor Short Straw!

On-out GoldieLicks

Heard on trail:
Buckinghand Phallus (10ft into the Eagle trail): �LMAU, give me your bi-cycle�.
LMAU: �No Way! Unless I can ride�

Crotch Duster: �Sniffah cannot drive a stick shift!�
Sniffah: Grrrrrinnnnd!

Other Stuff that you missed if you weren�t at the party:

1. During circle the beer cooler fell over - although Dildo-Stat was standing next to it�hmmm, looks suspicious.

2. LMAU gave Shorty a �book� of hash memories with pictures and hash trash.
If you left early, or got too drunk, ya missed it! It's TOTALLY beautiful!

3. Dildo-Stat! broke her foot and ankle pushing the Brit into the pool.

4. Too-sexy-for-sex talking away to a passed out Shorty. When Goldie observes this to
him Too-Sexy says, "That's ok, I'm used to talking to people and they don't respond."

LMAU�s comments:

Too many scrotums on ice today (ewwwwwww).
Shorty wore as much beer as he drank (almost).
Bike hashing is the best!
Circle was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay long.
Warm jello shots are NASTY.
Cold beer is GOOOOOD.
Having to drink Kelly's at the end of the night is NOT! (j/k)
CP showed her tits (DUH!!!)
Boys are funny in their panties in the pool (hehe).
Some boys are funny nekkid in the pool!
Puke doesn't make as big a splash as you'd think (LYMI).
Kitty can be in pain and still have fun.
BHP tries to be a good boy and SUCCEEDS (hehe) (the answer to that is NO).