HASH
TRASH
H3SC Hash #138
"Trail, What Trail !!"
Okay, I would like to just
volunteer myself to do Hash Trash for this
wonder of a Foot Hash... I will need a list of names, and a co-author,
to complete this beauty, cause I don't want to leave anyone out.
It only has to be 10% true, but I think I am actually 75% on this one
(cause I am missing a side)... If anyone disagrees... Well.......
Hares:
Moo Goo Guy Hand & Just Ken
Chalk Talk:
Goo starts it with the most icons in Chalk Talk history. This sparked
much interest and the group became excited. There was some confusion as
to what some of the symbols were, but Goo assured us that it was pretty
straight forward.....
The Trail:
Hares away... YAY... 15 minutes and we get to experience this amazing
wonder laid by Goo and Just Ken.... Holy Shit, can this actually be
happening???
Yes it can... Within the first 500 yards the trail is lost... Harriers
are scrambling to find the elusive flour clump... How clever...
One trail leads us into an apartment complex, yet there are no other
marks anywhere to be found... How F'in awesome!!! The whistle blows in
the distance... "On-On" a hasher calls out, so once again, we follow
along.... We make our way down a canal and continued on our way through
the rugged out back. We come to a safe crossing (on a baron road) and
head into the deep dark woods.... As we make our way through, following
the well marked trail, we come to a
Where does it lead???? We all decide to play detective, so we search the
immediate area. Hashers are everywhere..
YOU?" is heard back in the woods... "LOOKING!", is shouted back... The
heat is on... no trail in this area, but there are about 15 cat bowls
lined up along the curb... is this a new way of marking trail? NO!
At this point Slow Poker and myself are still sleuthing... while,
apparently, someone found the trail... (at this point someone will need
to fill in those notes).
I Feel Pretty and Slow Poker's Journey:
As we search the cat bowl area, we realize, we are alone.... no trail,
no hashers. (seriously, someone else needs to chime in on the details of
the other part... like a Quentin Tarantino movie shit got all F'd up at
this point)
Poker and I try to find some sign of of life... In the distance we hear
whistles, but can't quite seem to target their whereabouts. As we make
our way about 3 miles east of the trail, we find ourselves standing in a
basketball court and there is still no sign of anyone. Now there are no
whistles and no trail... we are officially lost!!! We make our way into
the woods via a pre-laid dirt trail... As we follow, I yell out, "there
are tracks!!", Poker replies, "those are animal". In fact they were...
Boar tracks to be exact... can't wait to see if we come across this
wondrous beast. We continue on our journey still no sound, still no
trail, so we begin to head in a more southerly direction; back to the
main road. As we are heading out, we see trail marks... COOL!!! We are
ON ON! Wait.... The trail is behind us, so now we must turn around and
follow the actual trail. Yes!!! We were finally on trail.. This was such
an awesome feeling. As Poker and I were talking about the group doing
circle at this point and hoping there would still be beer left we
followed trail for about another 3 miles..... We finally came to a canal
crossing that , I'm sorry even as a Fl boy, I will NOT cross..... Poker
and I devise a plan to find concrete again to try to regroup... After
about another mile in the thick, we do find concrete... We see that we
are actually about a mile from where we started still, so we just start
heading that way hoping that we will cross trail or even some Hashers.
Two Hours In:
At this point we are F'in tired.... walkin down some road, wondering
where the hell we are, or if we will ever see our families again....
Poker gathers up the breath to say.... "anytime now, Goo will come
driving by in his truck to pick us up"... As if he were seeing some F'in
mirage... In the distance we see headlights..
There are people in the car... They are waving... It's F'in Goo!!!!
YAY!!!!! We are saved!!!!! We jump in the truck.. Get a ride (about 4
miles back) to circle and, wait.... no one is there accept us.... Where
are all the hashers?? Did we miss circle???
NO!!! NO ONE FINISHED!!!! All hashers went to the wrong finishing point
(cause Vagina Miner (signed and sealed) gave the wrong directions to
circle). When it came time for circle, no one even gave the trail the
honor of shitty trail, or sang the shitty trail song... Hashers were
speechless..
This truly sucked... I can guarantee you that there is a different story
for each person on the trail, cause we all lost each other!!!!
On-F'in- Off!!!!
Disclaimer:
This is the story of IFP and Slow Poker, most events are true.. the
names have not been changed to protect the innocent cause Goo and Just
Ken are F'in guilty of Suck-ass trail laying… Everyone keep this
in mind when naming Just Ken… ;)
I Feel Pretty